The secular Law of Israel wants every girl to be a wife and every wife to be a mother. But while obeying the Law, I must obey the Voice that whispers to Me: “I want You”; I am a virgin and a virgin I shall remain…”
‘But Mary, what words would you find to persuade him? You will have the love of a man, the Law and life against You’
‘I shall have God with Me…’ answers Mary with confidence ‘ God will enlighten the heart of the spouse…life will lose the incentives of the senses and become a pure flower with flagrance and charity… I think the Law is about to be changed. ….“Near is the hour when the Baby born of a Virgin will be heard crying”…. oh! Since this Light that loves me tells Me so many things, I wish it would tell Me where the happy mother is that will give birth to the Son of God and Messiah of His people!
Barefooted I would travel all over the world, neither cold nor frost, neither dust nor heat, nor wild beast nor hunger would prevent Me from reaching Her and I would say to Her: “Grant Your servant and the servant of the servants of Christ to live under Your roof. I will turn Your millstone and Your press, use Me as a slave to work Your millstone and to watch Your herds, make Me wash the napkins of Your Child… I will work in Your kitchen, at Your oven, wherever You wish…. but receive Me. That I may see Him! And hear His voice! And receive His glance!”
And if She did not want Me, I would live at Her doorstep like a beggar, in cold and hot weather, just to hear the voice of the Child Messiah and the echo of His laughter, and see Him passing by… And perhaps one day He would offer Me a piece of bread…
Oh! If I were dying with hunger and I were fainting because of extensive fasting, I would not eat that bread. I would hold it close to My heart like a bag of precious pearls and I would kiss it to scent the perfume of Christ’s hand and I would never be hungry or cold, because its touch would give Me ecstasy and heat, ecstasy and food … ‘
‘You ought to be the Mother of the messiah since You love Him so much!’ says Anna with tears in her eyes. ‘Is that why You wish to remain a virgin?’
‘Oh! No. Misery and dust that I am, I dare not lift my eyes towards the Glory. That is why I dare not look at the double Veil beyond which dwells the invisible Presence of Jehovah….over there is the terrible God of Sinai. Here in my heart, I see Our Father, a loving Face that smiles and blesses Me, because I am a little bird that the wind sustains without feeling its weight. I am weak like the stem of a lily that can only bloom and present the wind with its pure and scented sweetness. God! My loving Wind!
Not because of that. But because the Son of God and of a Virgin, The Holy of the Most Holy One can but like what in Heaven He chose as His Mother and what on earth speaks to Him of His Heavenly Father: Purity.